Welcome to the Minefield

by SUPERDAZE

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1.
The perfect machine, only in a million pieces. I can do better, but why bother, this is the new way. 2 seconds is all you get, 28,800 thoughts. Tell me too, give me all, I need it. Need to accumulate but I can't be bothered. I crave to be but I have to move on. I know deep down there's more but fear presses on. I feel it in my skin sometimes, like nothing else. There's more to life than this fucking rat race! I used to do it but please understand it's changed. If I stop to shut down, my time might be up. Bite-size it for me so I can keep my pace. But please make haste, make haste, make haste! (No, wait!) Who did this to me and why did I let them? Breaking the machine into an assembly line. Well, in the process we all lost something That's way beyond my reach now. I've got no solutions but I have ways To shut down this ugly operation. Maybe kill myself in the process, Maybe boot up the machine again!
2.
Kinder 02:42
One step forward, ten self-doubts back. Secret paths to one genuine moment. Who changes the rules? Who keeps the gate? Let me try to put it in a witty way... How high am I up the food chain? Who gets to yank my collar and who's my "bitch", you say? Give five points for education, take ten for "insanity". Teach me how to interact so I can prove my lovability. Tell me my worth. How do I stack up against your lack of an idea on how to live your life? I don't wanna be your protector, your funny mirror, educator, benefactor, guilty pleasure. I'm not gonna be your inspiration, your rock to lean on, your stepping stone, your trial-and-error!
3.
Security, and a sense of calm, being not ready, no minimum charm. Losing limbs, the dread and the end of everything, fear of the heart and death. Effortless being. Just being and sitting still, no influence, no babysitting. Entropy, fear of losing, shame of being, being too much, being never enough. Not believing in perfection, juggling the balancing act, the only way to survive, the only way I can thrive. Shapes and more, the beauty of it all. Hard to take in, free to cave in. Unbearable moments in the absolute void. Counting seconds, cannot be saved. But I did ask. No more! There's a light that's deep within. I can turn around, forever it seems. When I catch it, it wants to be caught. And I love it, forever and ever in debt. Not believing in perfection, juggling the balancing act, the only way to survive, the only way I can thrive. Getting ideas by the million, no judgment, minimum filter, obscure reflections of worth, pardoning myself. And self admiration, vanity, trying to impress, trying to provoke, pushing for acceptance, probing for reluctance, playing for dominance.
4.
Oh wow, you look fucking great! With your no-looks and "I wasn't here"s Never touching anything that doesn't serve you. Never letting your shallow show. There'll be times of doubt and regret. But could you function beyond your comfort? Decisions, decisions, what will it be? Run back to your sheltered cave? Finally leave a trace? But you lurk and lurk, day and night. You'll never win your inner fight. Instead, you'll grow old and it'll fade. You'll never realize, you'll die in its shade!

about

Cover art photo by artpunk (Cameron Stephen).
Quote in "Storm the Castle" from James Burke's Connections, Episode 9: Countdown.

Special thanks to: Ayten Çalışkan for always giving me great feedback during recording, Cameron Stephen for letting me use this beautiful photograph in my cover art, Aydanur Özaydın & Zeynep Anlı for always being my #1 supporters.

credits

released May 22, 2019

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SUPERDAZE Netherlands

SUPERDAZE is a one-woman operation from Turkey/Netherlands.

She loves fun.
But not like nightlife. Or dancing.

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